You need a coffee before you tackle anything else. You go to make yourself one (hopefully you can make it before B2 starts whaling) only to  there is no milk for your coffee. *INSERT SWARE WORD THAT YOU SCREAM IN YOUR HEAD* And you have no idea what you will feed your toddler or husband for dinner tonight. There is only cabbage in the fridge. You decide you HAVE to go to the shops. If you go now and hopefully B2 will having his morning sleep in the pram (wishful thinking?) but to make all of this happen you need to be out of the house by at least 8:45/9am.

You start the process to leave the house. You take B2 into your bedroom and put him on a mat on the floor. You can hear B1 stop screaming from the kitchen when he  that you aren't there anymore. You think that you have about 40 seconds before he reaches the bedroom and runs the risk of using B2 as a speed hump. So you jump in the shower. IT'S THE QUICKEST SHOWER OF YOUR LIFE. Just as you are getting out, B1 enters the bedroom and decides he wants to go into the shower. You distract him with a toy while B2 starts a light cry. Hopefully, he can wait while you throw on some clothes. NOPE, here comes the heartbreaking screams. Your throw on some clothes and pick up B2. Shush, Shush, Shush. The time is now 8:15. While carrying B2 you get a change of clothes for both kids, a handful of nappies, a bottle of formula for B2 and some snacks for B1and you squish them all into a bag. You hope that is everything you might need. You put B2 into the capsule, while B1 is crying at your leg to be picked up. Your stress levels are starting to rise. 8:25. You pick up the bag, the capsule and you pop B1 on your hip. All up you are carrying about 15-20kls you go to leave the house when you do a mental checklist to make sure you have everything. Keys? yep. Wallet? yep. Phone? SHIT. When was the last time you had that thing? Everything gets put down, and instantly both kids start crying. Sigh. You can't remember when you last used your phone. DAMN IT. Oh wait, you were checking the weather when you  there was no milk. You find the phone, it's in the fridge where the bloody milk should be. By this stage, B1 and B2 are losing their minds. You give B2 the dummy, pick up B1 and we are off again. Somehow you have made it to the car without dropping anything/anyone but you have started to work up a sweat. It is now 8:35. 

You get both kids in the car. They both seem quite and you think to yourself, "I've got this". You start the engine, reverse out of the driveway and get on your way. You pull up to a set of lights and B2 starts crying, like really CRYING. You take off and B2 is quite. You stop at a stop sign and he starts again, you take off and he stops. Oh man, school traffic. Whenever you stop, he starts. Whenever you go, he stops. It's actually kind of impressive and it seems to be entertaining B1. You get to the supermarket. Pull into a spot. And like lighting, you are at the boot taking out the double pram with the 100 extensions and clips that you need to put the 2 seats on the pram. You need to put B2 in first. He is still crying since you parked. B1 starts crying because he hates being left in the car. You finally get both kids in the pram. You walk straight past the supermarket and into the cafe. "Strong soy latte" are the only words you have the energy to say to the barista. She smiles at you and says "Wow you must have your hands full" looking at the pram. You feel like saying "you have no idea lady" but you politely smile instead. 

Now that you have your coffee you head over to the . B2 starts to doze off and B1 is entertained by the  and people in the supermarket. You get the milk and something easy for dinner. Praying that you got everything you need you pay and head back to the car. As you get there you sigh to yourself, you can't be bothered dissembling the pram and putting the kids back in the car. But you do it. LUCKILY B2 is still sleeping. And you are starting to feel the effects of the caffeine. Both kids are in, the pram has been put away and the shopping is in the front seat. You get home and you look at B2 through your rear view mirror and think, maybe he will sleep in the capsule for a bit while I unload the car. Then, BAM, like he can hear your thoughts you see his eyes swing wide open and look directly at you. He starts to cry. DAMN IT. You take both kids back into the house. You leave B1 crying inside the house at the back door and B2 crying in the capsule while you run to get the groceries. You get back into the house and pick up B2 and try to settle him while reading B1 a book. You can put the groceries away later, once the kids are settled. It is only 9:30 in the morning.

You swear to yourself that next time, you will just go without coffee and get the hubby to do a shop on his way home from work. That was too exhausting. But 3 days later, you do it over again and it gets a little easier and you feel a little less stressed. The more you do it, the better you get at it.

That is what it is like leaving the house with 2 kids under 2. Stressful? Yep! Worth it? You betcha.

After I found out I was expecting with Samuel (our first), the fear of childbirth sank in. I think I have always been a little afraid of childbirth. The stories of how traumatic childbirth can be and how many things can go wrong terrified me. A friend of mine told me about Hypnobirthing and it sounded amazing. It helped her cousin have 2 quick drug free labours with hardly any pain. And thats when I knew I wanted to do Hypnobirthing too.

I bought the hypnobirthing book and did the hypnobirthging course. Hypnobirthing is all about the power of positive thinking, by relaxing your body and mind you can let go of he fear associated with childbirth to have a pain free birth. I was convinced I was going to have a hypnobirthing experience. I would just breathe the baby down. I did all my preparations. Light touch massage. Daily affirmations. Visualisation techniques. In a way hypnobirthing allowed me to let go of any fear I had prior to Samuels birth, I was genuinely looking forward to the day I got to meet my baby. I was also excited for the day Sebastian was going to enter the world thanks to Hypnobirthing.

My water broke for Samuel at about 11pm and the excitement set in. I went into hospital just to make sure that my water did actually break and I didn't just wee myself. When a doctor assessed me they advised me to stay in the hospital because I had some meconium in my 'water'. (Meconium, for anyone who isn't aware, is basically when your baby takes their first poop... WHILE THEY ARE INSIDE OF YOU) They say that meconium (ew) could be caused because of 1 of these 2 things. 1) the baby was full term (which wasn't likely because Samuel was a few days early) or 2) the baby is in distress. 4 words you don't ever want to hear "baby is in distress". One of the Hypnobirthing affirmations is 'I am prepared to have the best birth possible, whatever turn my birthing may take'. So because of the meconium we stayed in hospital and I was advised that if Samuel hadn't arrived by 11am I would have to be induced. We were moved from emergency to a lovey birthing suite. We had our relaxation music and candles set up. Everything was going really well, until 10am rolled around and we discussed induction. I agreed to have oxytocin via a drip at 10:30am. That is when Hypnobirthing went out the window. My pain levels went from 0 to 100 in a matter of minutes. I found it hard to remain calm once I started to feel the pain. I think I really did believe that childbirth would be pain free and when I felt pain I started to feel panic as well, I did not prepare myself to feel this way. When people ask what was the pain like, I try to explain like a basketball was in between my legs. Looking back I really cant remember much of the next 3.5 hours. But I can remember that by 1:53pm I was holding my baby in my arms and it was love at first sight. 

Second time around I felt a little worried about the child birth because of everything I went through with Samuel. I still decided to still do Hypnobirthing. Why? Because I was convinced that it didn't work the first time around because of the induction. With Sebastian my water broke at 7pm. Excitement set in again, we were finally about to meet our baby. Michael took Samuel to our parents place and we went to the hospital to make sure everything was ok. The doctor saw me at 11pm and said I was only 3cm dilated and most likely going to labour for at least 12 more hours. They gave me a sleeping tablet and asked me to go home and rest up,  I was probably going to need my rest. I went home, took the sleeping tablet and went to bed. 5 mins later I had to get out of bed because I started feeling immense pain in my tummy and down my legs. I wasn't sure if I was overreacting and feeling anxious because I was away from the hospital but I asked (ok, more like yelled) at Michael to call the hospital. He was on loud speaker and a midwife could hear me moaning (ok, not moaning, more screaming) in the background. She said to Michael very clearly "Michael, now you need to do only one thing. Get your wife in the car and come straight here ASAP". The midwife was pretty much waiting for me with a wheelchair. They wheeled me into a birthing suite straight away. They assessed me to be 7cm dilated at 1am. By 2:30am I was fully dilated. At 3am Sebastian was in my arms. And again, the feeling of love was so overwhelming that it really does make you kinda forget what you have just been through.

So in my experience - yes, childbirth is intense. Yes, it was a little harder the first time around. Yes, it was faster the second time around but it was just as painful. The only difference the second time around was I knew I could do this. I knew my body could do this. After all, I had done it once before and I could do it again. I am so proud of what the female body can do, what my body did. It grew 2 healthy babies and delivered them naturally.

Will it happen again? I hope we will be lucky enough to have a 3rd one day. But don't worry, it would be a few years time. I definitely don't feel like writing a blog post about what it is like having 3 kids under 3.